Ringie, Ringie

You have reached

the lobotomy, fundamentalist,

super patriot, flag waving

bible thumping, save the planet,

but desecrate the forest

in order to build our divine temple

of peace and love

for everyone that agrees

with our point of view

congregational, inspirational

answer machine.

 

We can’t come to the phone

since we are probably

hiding in the bushes by your house

looking for some sin evidence

to turn you over to the authorities.

 

At the sound of the harps,

please leave your confession

phone number and location

so we can come over and save you

no matter how many times

it takes of beating you senseless

just to be sure you are redeemed.

 

Hallelujah, praise the Lord

repent before it is to late,

and remember Jesus loves you,

but we could care less

unless you prove

you can truly do what we say.