FETCH THIS!

Okay babe I got your treat right here,
all those stupid dog tricks you made me do,
just to show them off to that dumb boyfriend,
give me those crappy doggy treats
while making me think
you were going to let me have a special reward
by bringing home that female boxer
that you showed me in the pet store.

Well got my own surprise for you,
my way of saying thanks
for luring me to that vet’s office
wagging my tail and assuming
it would be a night to remember.

Instead of spending time with a gal
he slipped me that Alpo mickey
then I woke up being neutered!

So let’s see how you like
the same kind of thoughtfulness,
wonder if you’ll be dancing
once a few volts pass through you body,
left unconscious
when your lover boy shows up.

I’ve watched that dog enough to know,
he won’t let you being comatose
keep him from having fun,
only what you don’t realize
is when you weren’t looking
how I switched your birth control pills
with my worm medicine.

Let’s see what you end up fetching
after he tosses you his stick enough times.