Nothing Personnel

They put me in charge of our company’s morale

now just do as I say then you can be my pal,

otherwise killer here will turn your butt into a canal

and I don’t what any whining like you’re a little gal.

 

Whatever you do don’t bother me before noon

since my dog and I were out partying under the moon,

plus the rest of the evening was spent watching some cartoon

so don’t knock on my door before 12 or I’ll treat you like a goon.

 

Course I'm always am respectful to all those military vets

when I need to borrow a buck to put down on my bets,

wish they had more so I could pay off my gambling debts,

but by padding my expense account I’ll should have no regrets,

 

Ain’t it grand how you can get a decree of some web site

for a hundred dollars you get a diploma that looks alright,

as long as you keep it in the dark since it fades in the light,

still getting this job beats being as a security guard at night.

 

Guess working for that loan shark really didn’t do me any harm

really helped to get this job when I nearly broke that VP’s arm,

to think that dumbbell secretary accused me of having no charm

can't wait to use my ways for any personnel gripe or worried alarm.

 

Won’t take long with my fist style to solve any complaints

they’ll either do it my way or end up some heaven bound saints,

one visit to my office will surely end any of their griping taints

once they see that electric chair with those steel studded restraints.

 

I heard I’m suppose to fret about something called the labor board

can fix that by driving over them with my customized black four door ford,

naturally my fee for that service will be more than the boss can afford,

but he’ll cough it up or I’ll inspire him with a noose made of an electrical cord.