I’m A Mine

Yep, there is gold in that thar behind of mine,
cuz if not the government would have a tax spade
and work so dang hard to be sure
I’ll have no nuggets left,
even the ones inside my zipper,
once I reach that retirement age.

And my family sure am so helpful,
why they will be even dig me a hole,
for my old worn out bottom to rust away,
but first they’ll shake out any inheritance dust
before they let me stake a claim
on the plot where there is only fool’s gold
form all the money paid to Social Security
that I will never see.

As for my boss,
well I’m so glad
he sees me as someone to plunder,
always checking the calendar
to see how much longer
until he can give my job away,
did take CPR instruction,
only wants to use it on this
well endowed blonde,
with me he’ll send an email to 911
should I keel over and become a rock.

Might fool them all
sink my cash into Viagra stock,
make sure the dividends
were invest in some gal named Easy,
now that in precious metal
they will never get in a will!