Onge-Ob Are Ants

I sit as a man in my fifties

asking myself over and over

why I should even know names

like Squidward Tentacles, Patrick Star,

or some pet snail called, Gary.

 

Is this something a mature adult

should really know?

Thank god I haven’t accidentally

mumbled those words at work.

 

Alas, I do have an excuse,

because I am a grandpa

with a two year old grandson

who thinks, “Onge-Ob Are Ants”

as he calls, Bob, is a god.

 

And being a loving grandfather

there are times we sit before the television,

watching Nickelodeon

along with Noggin,

sometimes for hours!

 

It’s okay, I’m doing my best

to search that show for secret messages,

thus far I’ve concluded

how the program happens to be a metaphor

for Bikinis representing ideal cities

if shaped like a sexy bottom,

leading to utopia.

There our minds as sponges

could discover that pineapples

are really the ultimate source for inner peace.

 

Ahem, watch the show to figure that all out,

meanwhile I’m going to lay off

helping my grandson eat his cookies

when it is on.