I Knew That!

Don’t tell me the direction even if I’m driving in circles
from my compass points towards testosterone truth north,
because a man’s got to do what a man’s got to do
since it is the principle that counts,
being faithful to my inner chauvinists piggy
means I only act caring when I’m having to lie
about being sensitive if I think it will get me lucky.

So what if I went in debt until I’m a slave
in order to drive that gas guzzling SUV 4X4
with the extra large tires I really don’t need
and it might as well be a coffin
for all the times I have to sit at home
too broke to go anywhere,
the point is I have the darn thing,
which is all that counts.

It’s no big deal that I spent a bundle
just to be sure I had custom wheel rims,
plus a personalized license plate,
heck I think M A STUD
sounds so cool.

Shoot we can get by without gas to heat the house
that I can pay the insurance fees,
no reason to not sit in the garage
while the engine idles to use the one in the vehicle,
course don’t help much in the middle of the night,
but those cans of Sterno do help to get by.

Can’t figure for the life of me
why the wife would leave after all I’ve done
through my way of trying to make her happy,
guess you can’t expect everyone to appreciate
my attempts at being loving,
think she would have been more understanding
about me buying a CB radio for my transportation
rather than those tampons she said were a necessity.
I mean no reason she couldn’t have figured
a way to get by until we got our income tax refund back
imagine after I bought those zebra seat covers
there would be enough left for those other things.