Looney Tunes

When you are a courier in Southern California
with Disney is one of your customers
you get blessed with a bounty curiosities,
from delivering a Mickey Mouse topiary bush
to a private corporate party,
or taking Minnie Mouse costume
over to the dry cleaners before the big parade.

All of those are colorful memories
recalled when having to riffle through receipts,
while forced to remember those moments of tourist dementia
like the time of making a drop on Hollywood Blvd,
when this ten year old kid with coke bottle glasses
from the state of Kansas ask if I knew the address to Elmer Fudd’s house?

Then blessed to make some special delivery
on the same street during Halloween,
seeing those aspiring unknown actors
dressed up as Charlie Chan and Betty Boop,
just to try in vain to get some publicity
by doing a scene from Shakespeare
in front of Grauman’s Chinese Theater.

Oh later they were joined by other out of work pals,
getting desperate by appearing
as Daffy Duck, Road Runner and also Tweety Bird,
while passing around the vodka to somehow help their act.

Slurred words from Macbeth sure didn’t impress
when I was trying to deliver that payroll,
but I know they were totally gone
after Donald Duck showed up staggering across those famous footprints,
stopping before me and sucking on a cigar,
so totally out of it all he could say was, “What’s Up Doc?”

I’m glad I work in the office now,
though some calls aren’t much better,
but at least they never reek of cheap booze.