The Expert

D H is a pro at everything,
doesn’t matter the subject
he’ll share his wisdom,
keep on prattling in conviction
even if you leave.

Sure can tell you how to make money,
been living on investments for years,
course they are for a disability
when he had that accident on the job
thought he knew how to use that machine
without ever reading the instructions.

Ever vigilant to watch the news
just to see how often they are wrong,
never believes those reports
about some product being faulty,
buys it just to show they lied,
the fact they don’t work
is just a coincidence.

For he is the modern enlightened man,
a pool of brilliance
in a swamp of ignorance,
perfect and never makes mistakes,
all those times things messed up
were just accidents and acts of God.

So proud he never has to read instructions
or ask for any kind of directions,
might have plenty of assembly kits
still only partly done
and be late to places he’s never been,
but always wears his head phones
in order to not be bothered
by anyone telling him about tips,
swearing he always knew.